Chapter 3.19 A First Time for Everything

 

I instantly regretted yelling and belittling Mira the way that I had. Not because of what I said, or how I said it. I am not sorry about that (well… maybe just a tiny little bit). I was mad because all of my hard work is now ruined. I put so much effort into being fake nice to all of these unbearably stupid people. Why would they want to talk to me now? Or, more importantly, how could I get any of them to help me?

After the way I treated her, Mira will never want to see me again. If I am not friends with Mira, then Flint & Renatta will not want to see me either. I know that doesn’t sound like a bad thing, but what if I need Flint’s magical fairy dust? (at this point I will take all of the magical help I can get)

On top of that, Ryker and Camilla will most likely kick me out of the pack. That will leave me vulnerable to Alcander and the vampires. I will have no choice but to move far away from Moonlight Falls. But where else can I go?

I need to make things right with Mira ASAP!!

“That, and the fact that apologizing to Mira is the right thing to do!” Bert was quick to add in his 2 cents, as usual.

 

But I didn’t want to come off like I was desperate.  After waiting what I thought was an appropriate amount of time, I literally tucked my tail between my legs and sulked over to Mira’s home. I had rehearsed my speech with Bert. I knew exactly what to say, and how to sound so Mira will think that my apology was sincere. However, when those rainbow colored eyes caught my attention, everything stopped.

Mira answered the door, but not with her usual overly obnoxiously cheery greeting. Right away I noticed that she had been crying. And this was not the small, little, “I just saw ​The Notebook so now I am sad” type of cry. I am talking about the intense, deep, my dog died type of ugly cry. Mira’s hair was knotted and tucked behind an old dirty scarf, and her face looked like she hadn’t slept in days. She looked worse than she did when I first saw her cry at the library (which was the first type of crying).

In that moment something changed. I experienced something that I had never felt before; regret. Genuine remorse for my actions.   I swallowed my pride and felt the knot in my throat fall to the empty pit in my stomach. My heart hurt; not since Grandpa Ryan’s funeral have I felt so miserable. But it didn’t matter how I felt. For the first time in my life I didn’t think about myself.

“I want to say how incredibly sorry I am for the despicable way I behaved the other day,” I was sincere as I spoke from the heart, “I acted like a rude, arrogant jerk, and you did not deserve that. For that I truly am sorry.”

Mira’s hoarse voice cracked as she said, “I’m not in the mood for company right now.”.

 

Before I could say anything more, Mira closed the door in my face. I stood on her porch in stunned silence.

What the hell just happened?!?!

That is not how things were supposed to play out! This is the first time I am ​actually ​​ meaning a heartfelt apology, and this is what happens? I get a door slammed in my face?!?!

“Mira, please open the door,” I banged on the door as I called out to her, “Mira, talk to me. What is going on?”

No matter how loudly I called to her, or how hard I pounded on the door, Mira was not coming out. I should have given up and gone home; the old me certainly would have. “At least I tried” would have been my excuse for not caring anymore. But I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t just let this go. I couldn’t leave Mira that way, and not because I was under some supernatural spell.

I didn’t think about what would Fake Nice Linc do. I thought, What Would Mira Do?

 

I sprinted fast as I could, then returned with two hot coffees from the cafe. I do know that Mira orders the same thing each and every time, but for the life of me I couldn’t remember what that was. It is a good thing that the coffee fairy knew Mira’s order (and I made a mental note so I could remember in the future).

The coffees were the key to getting Mira to open the door to me. We sat at her dining room table, much in the same way that she had done with me. But her dining room was filled with more books than there were in the living room, and a different cat was using one of the chairs as its own personal grooming station.

“I know I said this earlier, but I want to say it again. I am so incredibly sorry for what I did.” I was amazed at how easy it was to apologize when I actually meant it. The words didn’t seem forced or over rehearsed. I just said what I felt.

Then waited for Mira to finally say something.

After the longest awkward silence of my entire life, Mira finally spoke. She talked so softly that even with my heightened sense of hearing I could barely make out what she said. But I am pretty sure she said, “thank you for the coffee, and for saying that you are sorry. Your words really hurt me, and I appreciate you trying make amends. But that is not why I am so upset right now.”

This is another first; I actually listened to what Mira said. Usually when she rambles on about whatever she happens to be rambling on about, I tune her out. I will reminisce about the good old days, when I was King of Twinbrook, with my future full of endless possibilities. I fantasize about still being able to become a Rock Star, and all of the perks that go along with that. This time, however, I couldn’t pull away. Those rainbow colored eyes hooked me in like a tractor beam. More than anything I wanted to get to the root of Mira’s sorrow.

 

“It’s just that everything feels like it is all too much. I don’t know how much more that I can take.” Mira was talking while absentmindedly fiddling with the rim of her coffee cup. “Alcander is becoming more forceful and trying to pressure me. Which means that my cousins are becoming even more nasty. And Papa seems to only be getting worse. He didn’t come to breakfast, and he was up all night working in the basement. On top of all of that, today is the anniversary of Momma’s passing.”

When it felt right to chime in I asked, “How did your mother die? Was it because she was…you know… not a witch?”

My questioning brought a surprised look on to Mira’s expression. Like she just now suddenly realized that I was sitting with her. She had no idea that it was me talking to her. It was as if she would be mumbling even if no one was here with her.

 

For a brief second I almost reached out my paw across the table for Mira to take it. But I didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable or be obligated to have to touch me. So, I sat there as I waited for Mira to say something in response. However, Mira continued tracing the rim of the coffee cup with her index finger. She was lost in her own thoughts, a million miles away.

I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to say. This was all very new to me; trying to comfort someone else. I want to help Mira. I want to take her pain away. But how?

With no better ideas, I did the first thing that came to mind; I went to her piano and started to play. I didn’t know how my newly gruff voice would sound, but I gave it my best as I sang a song that I thought would help.

 

After I finished the song the craziest thing happened. Something that I never would have  expected to have happen in a million years. Something so out of this world that if you would  have told me it was going to happen I would have thought that you were insane. Something I  didn’t ask for, and never would have asked for.

Mira sat down next to me and put her head on my shoulder.

 

SIDE NOTE: So, this is my first chapter that I had to rewrite after my laptop broke.  I am still torn up over it.  I kind of like this rewritten version better.  On the other hand, this chapter took longer to post than I wanted it to.  I am not sure where I am going with this; just please bare with me as I still sort everything out.

Also too, just in case you didn’t know it, the song Lincoln plays is The Beatle’s Let it Be.

And as always, have a great day or night depending on when you are reading this!