Chapter 3.5 Too Depressed to be Awesome

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Things were different after Grandpa Ryan died. Grandma Cindy didn’t want to live in the house on the corner of the lot that they had shared. She moved into Dad’s office and their old house became sort of a garage/storage unit. Dad’s office has a nice big window overlooking the park across the street.

Most of the time Grandma just sits in front of the window with a blank expression on her face. She looks like she did the day of Grandpa’s funeral. Like her mind wants to be somewhere else. I can’t blame her.

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I didn’t spend too much time at home either. More often than not I stayed at my friend George’s house. He knew that I needed time away from my family and let me crash in the guest bedroom anytime that I wanted. It was a pretty sweet setup.

His dad Carson was off on some deployment mission with the military. He has been gone for a month now, and was not coming back anytime soon. George’s mother Sarah worked at the ER and kept crazy rotating work hours. When she wasn’t working 14 hour days at the hospital she was at home asleep and dead to the world.   Needless to say most of the time George and I had the house to ourselves. But that doesn’t mean that we were lonely.

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Do you remember when I told you that girls love musicians? Well, do you know what they love even more? A musician in mourning. My grief was like catnip. Every girl in school wanted to help me. Most of them wanted to get with me anyway, but now I am lusted after even more. They thought that they could, “make me feel better”. Being with these girls, one after the other, didn’t help me. But I was still going to let them try.

The first girl was….Christina. I think. I honestly don’t remember her name. What I do remember was that she was easy on the eyes, and easy in other areas too. There was a string of girls after that. To be perfectly honest I couldn’t tell you what order they were in, or even what their names were. Not that I cared. This wasn’t about them, or anyone else. It was about me. And what these girls could do for me.

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My current female “caregiver” is Becca. To my surprise and delight she isn’t as clingy as the others have been. I don’t have to call her everyday. She doesn’t panic when I don’t immediately respond to her texts. She gives me the space I need, but is always ready and available when I need her. We have already been named Homecoming King & Queen, and there is no reason to think that we won’t be crowned Prom King & Queen either. That is if we are still together at that time.

Becca has been my longest… I don’t know what to call us. We aren’t really in a relationship. I wouldn’t label her as my girlfriend. On the other hand, she is more than just a random booty call. We could be called friends with benefits, except that we aren’t really friends. Other than the fact that her name is Becca I don’t know anything about her; and I want it that way. Our relationship isn’t conventional, but it works for me. And that is all that matters.

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I enjoyed having my space, and I am not ashamed to admit that I didn’t think about how the rest of my family felt about it. I only cared about me and how much Grandpa Ryan’s passing hurt me. It took Autumn to finally wake me up to how important I am to all of them.

My crew and I usually spend our Friday nights hanging out at the old outdoor amphitheater. We get a good sized bonfire going and if we are lucky Alex can usually steal some booze from his dad’s liquor cabinet. It is always a good time with plenty of laughs, plenty of food, and of course plenty of girls vying for my attention (that is if Becca isn’t with me). I always try to get Autumn to come out with me, but she has yet to accept my invitation. So imagine how surprised I was when she finally decided to show up out of the blue.

“I haven’t seen you in a long while,” Autumn pulled me away from Becca to talk.

“Just spending quality time with my best friend and my best girl.” I joked. George is of course my best friend, and even though Becca isn’t ​my best girl calling her that was easier than acknowledging the truth.

Autumn sighed to show me that she saw right through my façade. There are many people that I can bull shit; like pretty much everyone, including most of my teachers and my parents. However, Autumn has a BS radar that won’t let me get anything past her.

“I can’t be at home right now,” I confessed. “Everything reminds me of him, and it is just too hard.”

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“I know you are sad. We are all hurting.” I could tell Autumn had rehearsed what she was going to say to me tonight. I stayed silent as she said her peace. “Right now we need to be there for each other, especially for Mom and Grandma. Don’t push us away, Lincoln. We need you.”

Autumn concluded her speech with a meek smile. She was trying to be strong, but she has never been the strong one. That has always been my job. I have never had a problem with being a supportive older brother to my sisters. It was just another thing that I excelled at. Now, I felt bad that I had let them down. I had been selfish. I had let my sister’s down and I had let Grandpa Ryan down. He taught me better than this. But no more! My family needs me. I am too important to not be at home for them.

“You are right,” I wasn’t able to look my twin in the eye I was so ashamed. “I will come home tomorrow for dinner.”

Autumn was so excited that she gave a tight hug. And for the first time in a long time, I started feeling better.

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18 thoughts on “Chapter 3.5 Too Depressed to be Awesome

  1. Lincoln does not handle grief well, but I’m not terribly surprised. At least he’s going to start being there for his family now – as has already been established, his care for them is his best quality. As for how he treats women… eh, he might want to work on that. Poor girls. Becca is pretty, but I can quite discern if he’s going to end up dumping her or if she’ll be important later.
    This was great as usual. I like how you write Lincoln – he’s quite the character.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. I have been having a lot of fun writing for him. He is the total opposite of me, so it is interesting getting in the head of a different character.
      You are right, he is making all of the wrong decisions. Hopefully Autumn set him on a better path.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Well, Lincoln could use some other ways to feel better after Ryan’s death… Not that it really helps him get better. It just eases the pain for a short while. I am glad the talk with Autumn finally helped him realize what is really important. He needed that.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Poor Lincoln 😦 I can see that what he does with girls is numbing the pain for a little while, but I’m glad he has Autumn to see right through him and help him see what’s important too.
    I don’t believe Becca (who is really pretty btw) will turn into something more for Lincoln, but I guess we’ll see soon!
    I feel so bad for Cindy 😢 Losing her husband must be so devastating. I hope she can find a way to move on 🙁 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m happy you like Becca’s look. I wanted to do something different for her, but too over the top.
      We will see if/how their relationship develops over time.
      And poor Cindy will never be the same. Ryan was her rock, and a big part of her died when he did. But now the Lincoln is going to act right, maybe he can help her too.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I am having so much fun writing for Lincoln. He is the total opposite of me; I have no confidence while Lincoln could be toned down a bit. It has been fun getting into his mind, and writing for him.
      Hopefully Autumn’s talk sticks with him. We’ll see how well he handles it all.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Ahhh I’ve finally caught up! In almost one big burst haha, I just couldn’t stop reading 😀
    That was such an enjoyable read — and what a rollercoaster too. My favourite generation so far is Gen 2, because Stella and Brandon are literally one of my favourite couples in simlit (I have a really soft spot for Brandon in particular). They are just so adorable, and all their sweet moments brought a smile to my face. Likewise, I actually laughed out loud several times during the story, your humour is top notch 🙂
    It’s been awesome seeing your picture and writing quality improve throughout the legacy. The clarity of the screenshots now compared to the beginning is just astounding. Your sims are so pretty, by the way, the Charming family truly is a bunch of lookers!
    I can’t say I am too impressed with Lincoln right now, but you’ve captured his immature voice well and I look forward to seeing how he may grow up!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You have no idea how much your nice comment means to me. I am a huge fan of your legacy. And hearing such kind and encouraging words from a Simlit Writer that I truly admire just made my day. 🙂
      I agree that the pictures have gotten so much better over time. I see the pics from Generation 1 and I cringe. In a perfect world I would have the time to go back a re-shoot them all. But in real life who has the time?
      I agree that Stella & Brandon are such a wonderful couple (and not just because they are so much like my husband & I). I totally adore them. ❤ ❤
      Hopefully Lincoln will grow up better. You are right, he is immature and selfish and arrogant. (but I really am enjoying writing for him 🙂 )

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am so happy to hear that! Thank you 💕
        True! Just seeing the progression in itself is a wonderful thing, though 😊
        Lincoln sure does seem like a fun character to write. He’s actually hilarious because of his hugely inflated ego. How old is he? I’m assuming he’s still in his younger teen years?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Lincoln has been s much fun to write, because he is nothing like me. It’s a nice change to get into the mind of such an overly confidant narcissist.
        🙂
        Right now Lincoln & Autumn are about 16 almost 17. He sounds younger, but that is just his immature attitude.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I am so glad his sister got through to him… and he realized he was needed by his family. But that very last thought of his didn’t escape me. I am too important to not be at home for them. It’s STILL about him. Of course you shouldn’t expect a change over night. So definitely progress that he was ashamed at not being there for them, and in turn they could be there for him. That part, he doesn’t get. But maybe he learned something from his grandpa Ryan. I hope so. Poor Cindy. 😢 It’s always hard seeing them go.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am so happy you caught on to that last line. Even after everything, it is still ALL ABOUT HIM. How important he is to them, and not the other way around.
      Ryan was Cindy’s rock. After he died a big part of her died as well. Even though he was old, and lived a very long and happy life it is heartbreaking to see.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Ah, Lincoln, always about you. Maybe when he’s home he’ll realise that his family can help him too. How old is he in this chapter? I’m a bit lost with the ages I’m afraid – the problems of being AWOL for too long and catching up on everyone’s stories at the same time.
    I’m almost surprised that the loss didn’t get Lincoln to grow up more – maybe it even did the opposite. I wonder if he will always be a bit immature. I certainly know some adults like that haha!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, everything is always all about Lincoln. Even after Autumn talked to him, it is still all about how much his family needs him. Not the other way around.
      Someone else asked about Lincoln’s age. He and Autumn are 16 almost 17. He sounds younger than he is, but that is just his immaturity coming through (the total opposite of Autumn).

      Liked by 1 person

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